how do i love this woman? can't count the ways.

just a thank you to her for the template help. isn't it awesome?

oh and i even fixed my springwidget. (something i did today should have worked!!! lord knows it isn't my code at work...)

anyway, at home i shall be adding more stuff to this soon.

thank you for stopping by even when i looked crappy.

now i'm away to do as many high-ratings on her page as possible. that chica rocks!!!

thank you kim! kissee kissee kissee!!! you da bomb!

look at him just sitting there. flipping through the god-blessed channels. he doesn't even notice that i'm in here just trying to spend some time with him.

he just doesn't care. i hate that music. i am sitting here trying to tolerate it, but honestly, how many times is he going to watch that video of that guy shouting - how does that pass for music?

just sitting there. when is he going to get up and put his dish away? that rice is just crusting onto the plate. and who's going to have to clean it off? me. i'm going to have to clean off that residue of indian takeaway that he never included me on. wow. is that how it is inside of ten years. going from sharing the indian takeout to being annoyed that he ordered one without me but expects me to clean it up.

and this mess. why does he think it's up to me to clean it up?! i'm out all day working, come home, fix dinner, sort the kids out, and when i get a chance to take a breath, i get "this room is kind of messy." oh for the love of god then why don't you pick up some of the friggin' mess! i was away at work all day where they don't actually pay me to plan his meals or think about all the stuff of his that i'm going to have to pick up.

...

"i'm just going to take jane to the cinema. we'll be back later."

"okay." wow. he just really doesn't care. how could he just leave me here? doesn't he care about me at all? it's not my fault jimmy is a handful right now. i'm sure he'd sit still for a movie. i know he would. god knows i wouldn't mind going to the darned cinema once in a while. i'd take a family walk around the block for that matter. i did not get married so i could do stuff on my own!

...

"come here, son." i am going to squeeze you and squeeze you until you know beyond the shadow of all doubt that i love you. you won't ever have to wonder if your mother loves you. so help me god if either of you ever think you're unloved may god strike me dead. well, when you're old enough to take care of yourself. about 30 should do it.

oh wow. you look so much like your daddy. are you going to expect some woman some day to do your bidding? not if i can help it! you are so getting trained! "m2! pick up those toys! right now!" yes, you will not leave this house without knowing how to do laundry, wash dishes and cook the occasional meal WITH spices AND vegetables. "now pick up that cup you threw on the floor!" and then come here for another hug. how could i not love that face?

...

"here, mommy, these are from daddy." oh wow! oh those are gorgeous flowers! oh thank you! thank! you thank you!"

okay. you get one more chance.

wow. someone told me long ago that as a manager they knew they were hot if they made their age (in $k ) by their 35th birthday. they were 34 at the time, and possibly going to just hit that. well, now i know i'm hot because i have made my age in ranking before the year is out. look, the logic is there, you just gotta poke a little. sit down, get yourself a cuppa, or get your elf a cuppa, whichever, and give it a really good think.

i think i like 37 also because it the numbers in it add up to 10. i have always liked numbers that add up to something.

actually that was going to be 'i have always liked numbers that add up to ten because another fiver gets you fifteen, which is good in cribbage' but then it hit me that it was merely good enough to like numbers just for their adding-up-to-something.

adding up to something is really important, don't you think? i mean, here we are, we could have just watched csi for a couple of hours, switching our brains off, and instead we sit here and create something really positive. okay, some of it you really have to look for the positive. diiiiiig. people diiiiig. but seriously, we are creating something instead of letting our brains rot away.

and that's how i turned the number 37 into a positive outlook on the world.

i'm going to be asked one day, "what did you do with your life?" and i'm going to say "well, bob, i did make number 37, and i appreciated that it added-up-to-something, and i likened it to making the world a better place. in a kinda-sorta way. and hopefully, that will get me into the finest clubs in heaven. where they play cribbage. surely they do some of that there, yes?

and that's how i got
from number 37
oh up to heaven.

which is a haiku! with a rhyme. you can NOT say fairer than that.

i have decided that one interview wasn't sufficient. another interview might bring you closer to an understanding of me. my daughter's in bed, so i'll have to do it myself.

holly: "why do you put so much garlic in your food?"

holly: "well that's a strange question, but i think it's mainly because i suck at cooking. also, i'm partly raised by someone who thought garlic went in everything. "peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" he'd say, "got to put some garlic on that!" so i think i was influenced by that."

holly: "oh, interesting."

holly: "no, it really isn't."

holly: "you're right, it's not. let's move on. so how long have you been blogging for?"

holly: "well, silly, you know that, it's been about two months now. i'm really enjoying it, as you well know."

holly: "yes, i do. and what would you say would be the major influences in your style?"

holly: "i'd say it is a clear and utter lack of sense to not do it, i suppose. i also think partly, i'm compelled to by the other voices in my head. surely you've heard them."

holly: "yes, they're a bit annoying. we should have some removed."

holly: "hey, that's a thought. was there anything else?"

holly: "yes, let's see. how about children? would you like more children?"

holly: "oh holly, i'd love to have another child. in a few years, when m2 is older. but the other half of my equation doesn't want any more. and i also don't think it's a good idea for him to father any more children that he's just going to end up shouting at. cuz really, it hasn't been a spread-the-shouting-out exercise, more of an increase-the-shouting one."

holly: "yes, i hope he stops that soon."

holly: "well, i think we both now know that he won't. even though we totally moved here from hawaii on the hopes that he would return to his former cuddly self, alas, it has not transpired. and now, we have given up a total of three lovable jobs because of him, haven't we? wait should i be referring to me as we?"

holly: "yes, and no, not really. you know, you don't have to continue to listen to him shout."

holly: "well, for right now, it's the only viable choice. plus, when he's not shouting, the kids kind of like him."

holly: "oh, alright then."

holly: "was there anything else?"

holly: "yes, one last question. why aren't you asleep yet? it's midnight!"

holly: "yes, well, even though i didn't get off blogger and away to sleep until near 2 am last night and the boy woke me back up at 7:30, i did have that little nap from 8:45 pm to 9:00 pm, and now i'm perked right back up. funny how that works. but i think i will take my leave now. i'm in grave danger of someone thinking i've lost some marbles somewhere."

holly: "okay, thanks for this. it's been great."

holly: "you're welcome, and no, it hasn't."

1) i do not have a dog named buster.
2) i once had a step-father with the middle name baxter.
3) i gutted fish one summer on an alaskan fishing boat. 4) played a lot of cribbage that summer. and spades.
5) was probably the only woman on the boat not gettin' any, but i was blissfully engaged to a guy i thought wouldn't end up shouting at me or the children we had together.
6) i like vanilla
7) i love butter pecan and mint and MAPLE
8) it's a shorter list to name the ice creams i don't like
9) i was the first person to move a robot using my brain signals. god i miss that job.
10) i lived in hawaii for five years.
11) i killed a lot of cockroaches while i was there.
12) my lips are chapped
13) my fingers smell like keyboard (some readers may already know this)
14) i ran the cardiff half-marathon in october 2006
15) i ran 6 of the 10k in october 2007, having already decided i didn't need to again prove i could do a half-marathon.
16) i played the clarinet & alto-clarinet in high school
17) when i was about 8 or 9 i played the piano on pbs. 18) with 180 other girls.
19) on 90 pianos. we all duetted.
20) i did stand-up comedy three times in college. before i met my husband
21) he wasn't my husband when i met him, in reference to number 20
22) i adore the color navy blue
23) i really don't care for pink, but have a lot of it.
24) maybe i actually do like pink and don't know it.
25) i love purple.
26) i LOVE GOLF
27) i love cribbage. wanna play?
28) i was mormon
29) i am now following something different.
30) starbucks is my favorite place
31) i hate coffee. rather, it hates me. two coffees is enough to turn me into instabitch
32) iced chai tea is my thang. with a scone. yummy
...
1,734,939) my husband doesn't care about any of this. if he did, he'd probably shout.
1,734,940) i wonder how his next wife will feel about that.
1,734,941) if he reads this, i may or may not be sorry. fortunately, there is no chance of it.