I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just arseholes.

I've learned it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you better have a big willy or huge boobs!

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you've finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we're celebrities.

I've learned that however hot and steamy a relationship is first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something is not working in your house, one of the kids did it!

I've learned that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones never go away!

Share these insights with your friends.. they'll appreciate it. And you never know, something good might happen.

If not, tough shit!

I can't take credit for this, but I received it from a friend this morning and it amused me so thought I'd share it with you guys.