Jen is a people-pleaser. She speaks the words that are expected, behaves accordingly and puts on the face that fits every situation. Sure, she’d sometimes like to throw caution to the wind, take a stand and speak her mind, but the fact of the matter is she doesn’t like to attract that kind of attention.

Jen was acutely aware of the need to toe the line that particular August afternoon, shortly after they had arrived in Bayfield, Wisconsin during this fifth annual “couples’ weekend.” Somehow, this particular group had made it an annual tradition to reconvene for an adults-only weekend in this quaint little tourist town. If nothing else, the stunning beauty of the lake was enough to win Jen’s agreement to a return trip each year. The weekend always proved to be a good time, but she always felt like she had to get reacquainted with the group again. Bill and Tammy were the only couple that everyone had in common. None of the others kept in touch the rest of the year, except for an occasional crossing of paths, and a polite “hello,” usually at some kids’ sporting event.

And so, here she was, once again, trying to talk herself into not being intimidated by Julie. They had all piled into Bill’s boat, after unloading their gear into the rented condos and traveled across the bay. Their destination was Madeline Island for a relaxing dinner at a bar and restaurant which sat right on the beach. This is where Jen found herself, watching the ferry navigate the waves, suntanned children splashing in the water and listening to Julie, in typical fashion; ramble on endlessly about her kids, their athletic talents, their academic excellence, her family’s involvement in the church, school and charitable organizations and the overall perfection of her life. Jen had to fight hard not to roll her eyes when Julie started talking about the new book she was reading about being a good and moral person and how she was trying to hold regular discussions with her children about what she was reading and how they should all be putting these lessons to use in their own lives. It wasn’t that Jen disagreed with Julie’s beliefs. It was simply tiring having to listen to Julie’s proud proclamations, year after year, all the while being reminded of her own shortcomings in parenting, marriage, life.

She wondered how it was that no one else seemed to be bothered by Julie’s bragging. Grace simply listened politely with her trademark saintly smile, never giving any indication that Julie might be grating on her nerves. For Jen, all of Julie’s banter only served to make her feel the need to put on a face of perfection, while her resentment at not being able to relax and be herself continued to build.

Thankfully, Jen’s husband Matt ordered up a couple of pitchers of beer and brought them to the table while they waited for their meals. Jen knew that a beer or two would help make Julie’s persistent chatter roll off her back.

At least Jen could count on Tammy for a sideways glance and a knowing look of sarcasm. That small gesture of understanding was sometimes all she needed to keep from pulling her hair out while Julie continuously monopolized the conversation. As they sipped their beers, Tammy played absent-mindedly with the plastic beer pitcher, beginning a separate conversation and easing Jen’s mind away from Julie, leaving poor Grace to feign interest in Julie’s never-ending litany of her own achievements.

When dinner arrived, the husbands wisely remained inside the confines of their own conversation. Julie’s husband, Dennis had obviously long ago decided that his wife would do all the talking and that he was not to disagree. Dave, Grace’s husband, seemed able to get away with the occasional wise-ass remark aimed at Julie and usually succeeding in taking her down a few pegs, much to the amusement of everyone else. (Julie would never live down the time she was trying to elicit sympathy for herself, describing the excruciating pain of dealing with TMJ. When Bill asked what TMJ stood for, Dave jumped in before Julie could deliver her explanation, shouting, “TOO MUCH JABBER!” Jen had never laughed so hard in her life as when she looked to find Julie, her arms crossed over her chest, teeth clenched, ego deflated and an uncharacteristic lack of words on her lips.) Bill, still a kid at heart, was always too busy trying to be the center of attention himself, wildly competing with Julie every chance he could get for that honor. He never paid her much attention. And Matt just took it all in, unable to get a word in edgewise and content to listen with amusement.

Soon dinner arrived. Jen felt the effects of the beer begin to calm her nerves and found herself smiling and enjoying the company of those surrounding her. Tammy, usually the “cruise director” of the group, seemed to be enjoying her beer more than she normally would. Tammy was normally a by-the-book kind of woman, never drinking too much, never getting out of control, and always making sure some exciting or educational event was scheduled to ensure a successful vacation. But this particular evening, she seemed to have gotten in touch with her mischievous side. Those plastic beer pitchers were becoming an infatuation for her. She pointed out to Jen the insert in the pitcher meant to hold ice and keep the beer cold. She began to question why such pitchers weren’t sold to the general public. Suddenly Tammy had an insane desire to have a plastic, Miller Lite beer pitcher with an ice insert for her very own. Jen began to giggle as Tammy contemplated stealing these beer pitchers. Of course, Jen knew Tammy was joking, but Tammy’s current demeanor was so out of the ordinary, the situation grew funnier by the moment. She knew Tammy had no intention of committing “grand theft beer pitcher.” She was simply enjoying the absurdity of the idea.

Just as Jen had finally relaxed and her feelings of anxiety had melted away, Julie caught wind of Tammy’s hypothetical plans and began to lecture Jen and Tammy about how wrong it would be to steal the pitchers. Jen knew she could take the wind out of Julie’s sail by explaining it was all a joke, but suddenly her need to conform left her frame of consciousness. She had a urgent desire to rub Julie the wrong way for a change instead of the other way around. Jen turned to Tammy with a gleam in her eye. She made eye contact with Julie and turned slowly, grinning at Tammy and proposed questioningly, “You know we could just wrap these up in our sweatshirts and stroll right out the door.” She didn’t really expect Tammy to play along, but Tammy had apparently consumed just enough beer to decide she was game for the adventure. With a quick glance toward the bartenders, two empty beer pitchers were snatched off the table and discreetly wrapped up in Jen and Tammy’s sweatshirts. For once Julie was speechless.

Tammy suddenly announced it was time to go. She grabbed Jen by the arm and led the group calmly out the door as she and Jen burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, with Julie stomping along behind them while they made their way down the dock, ranting and lecturing. “That’s STEALING, you know! Don’t you teach your children not to steal? What message are you sending to your kids? What will you tell your children when you bring those into your home? Jen glanced back at Julie and said, “I’m going to tell them that I wish I had gotten a set of salt and pepper shakers too!” Tammy took Jen by the arm and they strolled happily back to the boat without a shred of guilt.

Jen knew Julie was right. But for the first time ever, in Julie’s presence, she felt like she had taken a stand. And much to Julie’s dismay, those beer pitchers stood like trophies on the table in the condo for the remainder of the weekend.