Pornography hardly ever turns me on. I guess I'm not very visual. And the guys in straight porn are almost always ugly. So maybe it's just that I'm too visual. Whatever the reason, porn's not my thing.
At the same time, I've never been bothered if my partner looked at porn. I know some women are, and I just don't get it. Porn turns most men on. Men who are turned on like to have sex. They're not going to have sex with porn stars, they're going to have sex with their wives and girlfriends after the viewing. So everybody wins (unless you don't want to have sex with your husband or boyfriend, in which case your relationship has bigger problems than one of you getting turned on by porn). Once a friend complained to me that she was afraid her husband was fantasizing about Jenna Jameson while having sex with her. That would bother me, I admitted. My husband can think about whatever he wants when he's on his own (so to speak), but when he's with me I'd prefer him to think about me. So I suggested that she talk to him about it. "Oh, I couldn't . . .he doesn't even know that I know about his porn collection."
Whoa. Again, this relationship has bigger problems than whether he's thinking about Jenna Jameson or not. How can you be married and not be open about your sexual needs and wants? Why should a guy feel that he has to hide his porn collection? That's like a woman hiding her vibrator. Communicate, people.
For most of the men I've known, porn is equivalent to my crush on Ewan MacGregor. My crush is no threat to my husband, it's just a reminder that I'm not dead. My hubby is never going to look or sound like Ewan, and I'm okay with that.
Although it does make me wonder, if you're married to a porn star or Ewan MacGregor, who do you fantasize about? Normal people?