December 2005: CableDad and I were living in Toronto and my brother was in Tokyo with his soon to be fiance. It had been at least a year since my brother moved from New York and therefore out of my range for frequent visitations, something about which I was severely bummed. I went from speaking to my BigBro on a weekly basis and seeing him once a month to not being able to afford a phone call.

And then we got the offer of a lifetime. My father and brother offered to team up on a Christmas present for the Cable Clan and bought us a pair of tickets from Toronto to Tokyo. Booya! There ain’t never been a gift like that!

It was a trip unlike any other I’ve taken and I’ll talk about different aspects of it for later FlashBack Fridays. Today I want to talk about New Year’s Day in Kiryu, my soon-to-be-SIL’s home town.

I should mention, however, that when I first got to Japan my hair was bright purple. Actually, my Cre8Buzz profile picture as well as my blog profile picture are from a late morning trip to the gardens at the Imperial Palace in Tokyo. My brother very respectfully (that is if by respectfully I mean “My God, what have you done??!!”) asked me to dye my hair black before meeting the family of the woman whom he wised to make his wife. I complied. I wouldn’t have had it been anyone but him.

The intention was to spend Christmas around Tokyo before heading out to the prefecture to the north west where we’d soak up some time at a traditional ryokan then head off to meet SIL’s family. We were due to arrive in Kiryu by the 30th of December.

(Just as a side note, I’d like to add that yes, they do celebrate Christmas in Japan, but not in any way like in America. It’s hard to explain, but I tell you there is nothing in the world like listening to a tune, knowing it very well and then realizing that you’re listening to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in Japanese.)

I was warned well in advance that we were to participate in a tea ceremony on New Year’s Day at the house of SIL’s grandparents. Loving and dutiful sister I am, I boned up on my Japanese so that I could greet SIL’s grandparents with the proper respect thereby honoring my brother. There are very few phrases in Japanese that I actually remember, but should you ever need to tell someone that you do not speak Japanese say this: Gomen nasai. Nihongo ga hanasemasen.

When I woke up on New Year’s Day my first conversation of the day went something like this:

me: SIL, when are we going over to your grandparents’ house?

SIL: when we go for tea.

me: ok, when will that be? (silly me, I was thinking there was a “tea time” like in Britain and Ireland.)

SIL: When grandmother is ready.

me: ok. I get that. What will the ceremony be like?

SIL: we will have tea.

me: yeah, I kind of got that, you know what with the whole “tea ceremony” thing. Do I need to know anything in particular.

SIL: my cousins and I will prepare the tea.

me: great! (feeling like I was getting somewhere at last) what’s that like?

SIL: it’s like a tea ceremony.

me: yeah, I deserved that. Should I start getting ready now?

SIL: if you want.

me: when will we be leaving?

SIL: when my uncle comes to get us.

me: right. soon? this afternoon? tonight? (looking at BigBro for help as he sat in the corner with CableDad snickering)

SIL: when grandmother is ready.

me: right. I give up. I’m going to go have a bath and get dressed. Does it matter what I wear?

SIL: You probably shouldn’t wear jeans.

me: (said to myself) AH HA! a straight answer!

Two things before I continue: 1) The above pseudo-transcript is HIGHLY abbreviated. 2) SIL was not just fucking with me. It’s just incredibly difficult to get straight answers out of her.

At that point I went to bathe and get dressed in a pair of corduroy pants and a sweater. Have I mentioned that I’m not girlie at all? Have I mentioned recently how much I hate pink? I mean, seriously, have you ever seen me post a pic of MJ in pink clothing? I’ve ranted about my issue with pink clothing here.

Couldn’t be more than 10 minutes later I was shanghaied (yes, I realize I was in Japan, not China and that I was not being forced into hard labor on an American merchant ship) by SIL and her mother. Before I knew what was happening I was stripped down and wrapped about 50 tons of fabric. Pink fabric. With little pink flowers.

This is myself and my SIL posing for one of about 10,000 photos taken by her uncle while at the tea ceremony.

Myself, SIL and BigBro walking out of SIL’s grandmother’s house back to the car. I will pretend that BigBro is not laughing at me attempting to walk in sandals.

Let me tell you, I have an incredible amount of respect for any woman who can wear a kimono and do anything else. I now know why chairs are not part of common furniture. It’s impossible to sit properly in a kimono. I now know why it is considered proper to take very small steps. It is impossible to take anything like normal strides while wearing a kimono. And don’t even get me started on trying to walk across cobbles with the platform sandals…