I'm in kindergarten, sitting at my desk, attempting pay no attention to anyone around me. I do this well. My pockets are full of knick-knacks and I'm fiddling with a piece of chain that I've been carrying around for a few days. Contemplating the links and how they got attached to each other, I start to imagine someone manually compressing each metal ringlet, one by one onto the chain. This doesn't seem right, so I stare intently at the chain; the perfect clamps puzzle my young mind.

In the middle of my inspection, a massive thump causes my head to instinctively jerk up to see my teacher who has just unloaded a stack of magazines onto my desk.

"To-day, klahs.... yoo wil bee ta-king theez mag-a-zeens and ser-ching fawr a let-er uhv the al-fa-bet." She addresses us using phonetics. As if we don't understand her, she speaks with a slow voice and high inflection on the vowels, bobbing her head as she slurs her speech. I wonder silently if she has an impediment or if she doesn't realize we all started talking about four years ago. She looks right at me. "Teyk wuhn." She holds up a finger as if I don't know how many one is. "And pas the rest uh-lawng." She points down the row of desks.

I grab a National Geographic and 'pas the rest uh-lawng' without looking at my neighbor. The magazines vanish from my hand and I pull it quickly back in.

"Suhm-bod-ee's shy-eye!" Teacher exclaims, like a children's show host on ecstasy.

I'm not shy, just ĭn-trə-vûrt-ed. I don't respond. Instead, I leaf through the magazine and admire the freedom of the wild caribou.

"Oh-kay. Wee wil go throo the al-fa-bet uh-round the room. Your uh-sahyn-muhnt iz too kut owt az men-ee uhv your let-er az yoo kan faynd and peyst them awn your sheet uhv kuhn-struhk-shuhn pey-per. Ri-mem-ber your let-er." She begins to go around the room, pointing to each of us. "A... B.... C.... D.... E... F..." That's me. I'm F.

I open the magazine and begin scanning the lines for the letter F....

Read more here: http://sleepdepninja.blogspot.com/2008/09/ninja-as-child-4-f.html