A little story not to depress anyone but to show the true growth of a Christian and how God really does work miracles and he has the ultimate plan even if we don’t understand that plan.

I was born in Illinois to a couple that obviously had no business having children. As a baby I was one of the worst cases of child abuse in the state of Missouri and Illinois combined. I was the middle child of 3, I have a sister that is about a 1 ½ years older than me and a brother who is about 1 ½ years younger than me. We were all abused in one way or another; however, I was the worst case of physical abuse. The last time they physically abused me the story goes that I was kicked in the back of the head with a steel toed boot. This gave me a massive head injury that sent me into convulsions and I was basically dying. The story that we have come up with from records and what people would actually tell us is that a neighbor had found me alone from what they say “left for dead”. This was after several other abusive situations that sent me in and out of the hospital already in my short life. This was the final straw and the state took me away from them immediately as I lay in the hospital and was not expected to survive. During my hospital stay the two went through a divorce. My sister was to stay with “her” and my brother was placed in foster care but never put up for adoption for some unknown reason. I spent several years in the hospital where my “mom” worked in St. Louis. Notice that I do not call the people who gave birth to me as my mom or dad they are just the ones who gave birth and nothing else. The state basically made me disappear and I stayed in the hospital (exact time frame is not known for sure) for several years, yes I did say years! My mom who worked in the lab of the hospital fell in love with me as she was the one to do many tests and blood draws on me. Both my mom and dad spent many hours just being with me in the hospital. They fell in love with me and decided that they wanted to adopt me. When I finally got out of the hospital around the age of 4, I spent the next year between foster homes and the hospital. Why was I back in the hospital? Because I had a massive head injury and I had a huge (twice the size of my actual head) water sack on the back of my head that required many trips to get drained so the pressure would be relieved. Now please don’t get freaked or upset or sad because this was a God thing in the making. My parents are not American citizens so they spent a year or two trying to adopt me but by the time I was 5 they were finally successful. The doctors did not give my parents a very good outlook on my life let alone the quality of life I would have. According to them I should not even be here today and as a matter of fact the state of Missouri and Illinois paid for an insurance policy for my parents on my life until I was 18.

My parents never told me about this situation and I don’t believe ever would have told me if I had not been the curious child I was and accidentally came across some paperwork that they had filed away, to include the insurance papers as well as the adoption record. I found this out around the age of 14 or 15 and needless to say I was very upset. My parents told me they thought I would not love them if I found out. Wow that could not be further from the truth! But this really messed with me and satan used this to his advantage to try and take my faith away from me and claim me as his victor in the spiritual battle that is being played out. I spent many years knowing that if I were to ever find them (the people that gave birth to me) I would be in jail for 1st degree murder. This was my goal.

Well then January 31 1998 I found my brother and met him for the very first time. Wow was that cool! Unfortunately, by his teens he was placed back in the home with his mother and step dad who had adopted him since the guy (sperm donor) took off and ran. I feel bad for him because he then endured years of mental abuse. But we really hit it off and really got to know each other. I was married at the time in living in Kansas and was going through a divorce. After my divorce I met a wonderful woman in Arkansas who brought me to her church. See all these years I believed in the Lord and accepted him into my life, but I was not spiritually growing. I could never figure it out; I had hit the brick wall in my spiritual life. Well this church that my now wife took me to was a God thing. I talked to my pastor about my struggles in my spiritual life and he along with my now wife, brother, and sister-in-law convinced me to meet the lady who gave birth to me and face that “demon” head on. I did finally in (I think) 2002. That was the best thing that the Lord ever sent my way as I lost the feeling of wanting to take my own revenge (what satan would have loved for me to do) and I put it completely in God’s hands instead “Faith Rest Drill”. To this day I have grown on a daily basis in the Lord after holding God’s hand and facing the “demon” head on. I look on this as the biggest test of my life and God allowed this to happen to set me up to help others who have gone through this in his name.

Now why did I decide to share this? Because I feel extremely proud that God chose me for this test and has given me the ability to share and hopefully use this to lead others to Christ through this experience. God bless my pastor in Arkansas, my wife and my brother. I hope if you are reading this that you can see the power of our Lord Jesus Christ and by accepting him as your personal savior he can get you through anything if you put it in his hands. Please remember this as I know there are many of you struggling through issues in your life that you may not understand.
“Faith Rest Drill” “Through faith alone in Christ alone, all things can be done”