I have a secret. I blog. Obviously, it’s not a secret to those of you on the “Anthill” or that may have passed by my blog, but to anyone that knows me in real life, it is a total secret. I’ve not told a single soul that I have been doing this. I am becoming oddly ashamed of my sneaking around.

I took it on as a way of therapy, journaling, if you will, to get things off of my chest. It has worked like a charm. I don’t feel quite as weighted down as I used to before I started spilling my guts onto the keyboard. It has helped me to, not only, not dwell on the negative, but it has forced me to focus and find the positive, the lesson, or the laughter in situations. What’s more, the comments that have been recieved are like little notes from my own personal Jiminy Crickets- offering wisdom, support, advice, and humor! Little did I know what would come out of this little private journey that I set out on a month ago.

“Blogging”, just a couple of months ago, could have been a bad word, for all I knew! We are not a technologically advanced family, by any means! Our computer is in a very public family area. It is primarily used for my e-mail, word processing and I help my kids research projects on the internet. I don’t allow them to join any of the popular “social networks” or surf the web.

My husband has touched my computer three times. My computer has crashed three times. This is not a coincident! He has wondered about my recent increase in pecking at the keyboard. I have just told him that I am answering e-mails. He would be very suspect with the truth. He is very over-protective and cautious. He works in law enforcement and his training has taught him that anything that has to do with computers is vile and driven by pornography!

Am I the only person that doesn’t have family and friends as a support system? Is it completely wrong to do this without sharing with anyone I know? Or is it just harmless, like writing in my journal?

Keeping secrets is such a burden. I know I’m not hurting anyone, I’m even doing myself some good. The way I look at it, I wouldn’t tell anyone what is happening in my “therapy” sessions, so this is no different, right? Maybe someday, I will have the confidence to let people that I know into my surreptitious life that is the blogoshere. Until then, I will lay on the metaphorical couch of Dr. Cre8buzz and pour out my random thoughts.