I got this email today...so true!!

Old Age, I decided, is a gift
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my father!), but I don't agonize over those things for long..

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon ?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love .. I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful.. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

I saw this on the net today!!

For as long as I've wanted to be a mother I've wanted to breast feed. I always knew that I'd be a nursing mother. I pictured myself, rocking my sweet baby in a rocking chair while she nursed. A heavenly glow would surround us. Disney birds would chirp outside of the window.

(Insert maniacal laughter)

Fast forward to the birth of my first child. Little bitty A-cup me swelled up to a C-cup. I was so proud. Then I became a D. Then a DD. By the time I left the hospital I couldn't fit into my going-home shirts or lower my arms to my sides. My husband took to muttering idiotic comments like "whoa babe" and staring at my chest. My daughter nursed happily, approximately every 17 1/2 seconds. This, of course, stimulated the poor dears to think I was actually nursing a small town and they produced even more.

I looked like a really, really overstuffed drag queen. I should have been on the front of a ship. And don't even ask how it feels to pack what feels like several hundred gallons of liquid into a tiny little 32 inch bit of innocent chest.

Of course, after a while they got the hang of their newfound jobs and performed quite well, other than the obligatory wet sheets and doused shirt fronts. Then when my daughter was several months old I returned to work and my husband became a full-time daddy. I would leave a bottle of expressed milk for them when I left and express during the day.

I had a hectic job, though, and some days I'd get too busy to pump. By the end of the day I'd be driving the half hour home with only one thought on my mind. Must. Relieve. Chest. I pictured myself getting pulled over by the police and a horrified officer watching as my bosom swelled and my clothes burst off like the Incredible Hulk's kid sister. By the time I got home I would rush through the door, dash to my baby and rip open my shirt. Ahhh.

Then there was the time we drove 6 hours to visit friends and my daughter inexplicably slept the whole way. We stopped at a Target store to call ahead and I rushed to the bathroom to unleash the flood gates. By this time my breasts were like concrete basketballs. I ran into a stall and unhooked my bra.

Now if you've never breast fed before, you may not realize that when you produce milk your areolas will become roughly the size of your face, and that entire area will spray breast milk like an insane fire sprinkler if left to build up for too long.

You may not realize that when you unleash the crazed things, they'll douse your average Target stall like out of control fire hoses, and it is really, truly impossible to aim two rabid super-breasts at a toilet bowl.

Now apparently I'm blessed with a true abundance of milk. Nobody else I know has ever had to wrangle their breasts in Target stalls. You may never have to deal with it all. But if you breast feed, you will have to deal with at least occasional engorgement and dousings. But you'll also have a healthier, happier little somebody growing strong on stuff mama's body produced just for him, her or them.

In the meantime, direct pressure will stop the let down, hot showers help relieve engorgement, and I've heard it really is true that cabbage leaves in the bra will help your milk go down. Pumping will relieve the pressure, but don't pump too much or you'll trigger them to up the production even more.

I'm still waiting for the Disney birds. I wrote this article with my second baby stretched across my lap and happily nursing to sleep while I typed over her head. We all have a fantasy of how motherhood will be. Sometimes life--with all its crazy, comical chaos--is even better.

Q1: What is your first name and what does it mean?
A: defender of mankind, Greek

Q2: What is your last name and what does it mean?
A: I don't know what it means :>(

Q3: How old are you?
A: a scary 60 yikes!

Q4: Where do you live?
A: in dodgy SE London

Q5: Any Hobbies?
A: the internet, reading, cooking, cryptic crosswords

Q6: What colour socks are you wearing?
A: white

Q7: Club or Bar?
A: club

Q8: What time did you get up this morning?
A: about 7.45am

Q9: When is your birthday?
A: 22 Jan

Q10:What is your favourite TV show?
A: desperate housewives

Q11:What did you have for breakfast?
A: toasted egg sandwich

Q12:What is your favourite cuisine?
A: love pasta

Q13:Your favourite potato chip?
A: cheese and onion..in a sandwich (fresh white bread)

Q14:What is your favourite CD at the moment?
A: ummm the software for my new monitor lol

Q15:What kind of car do you drive?
A: I don't and don't want to drive

Q16:Favourite sandwich?
A: toasted cheese and ham in the George Forman grill

Q17:What characteristics do you despise?
A: bully

Q18:Favourite item of clothing?
A: jogger bottoms, ie: track suit bottoms

Q19:If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
A: Italy

Q20:What colour is your bathroom?
A: mish mash

Q21: Favourite brand of clothing?
A: sports wear ie: nike addidas reabok

Q22:Where would you want to retire to?
A: Cornwall

Q23:Favourite time of day?
A: mornings..... and evenings after dinner has been cooked

Q24:Where were you born?
A: Rotterdam the Netherlands

Q25:Coke or Pepsi?
coke
A:

Q26:Are you a morning person or night owl?
A: Morning

Q27:What size shoe do you wear?
A: 5.1/2

Q28:Do you have pets?
A: 1 feisty cat

Q29:Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone?
A: I have a lovely new monitor :>))

Q30:What did you want to be when you were little?
A: a nurse, but cant stand seeing people in pain or in distress

Q31:Favourite sweets/candy bar?
A: Bournville choc and of course Black Magic Mmmmm

Q32:What is your best childhood memory?
A: spending my school holidays in Rotterdam

Q33:What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
A: telephonist, punch operator, shop assistant,chambermaid,.... cook maid and bottle washer as in wife and mother

Q34:What colour underwear are you wearing?
A: black

Q35:Nicknames?
A: Mum Man, nanny, sarnie, sharkus

Q36:Piercing?
A: in my ears

Q37:Eye colour?
A: blue, grey

Q38:Ever been to Africa?
A: Tunisia once and hated it

Q39:Ever been toilet papering?
A: what is that?

Q40:Love someone so much it made you cry?
A: yes, and was not appreciated

Q41:Been in a car accident?
A: one minor

Q42:Croutons or bacon bits?
A: croutons

Q43:Favourite day of the week?
A: used to hate it but Sundays

Q44:Favourite restaurant?
A: anywhere where the foods good

Q45:Favourite flower?
A: friesia

Q46:Favourite ice cream?
A: coconut

Q47:Disney or Warner Brothers?
A: Disney

Q48: Favourite fast food place?
A: probably a noodle bar now

Q49. What colour is your bedroom carpet?
A: mish mash

Q50: How many times did you fail your driver's test?
A: never took one

Q51: From whom did you get your last email?
A: mintz in create buzz :>))

Q52: Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
A: pc world

Q53: What do you do most often when you are bored?
A: stumble

Q54: Bedtime?
A: between 11.30 and 12.30

Q55: Last person you went to dinner with?
A: the Fam at my 60th

Q58: What are you listening to right now?
A: the kettle boiling and my keys tapping

Q59: What is your favourite colour?
A: blue

Q60: Lake, Ocean or river?
A: Ocean

Q61: How many tattoos do you have?
A: none yukk

Q62: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: egg, and a big surprise lol

Q63: Which seven famous people would you invite to your dinner party?
A: Quentin Crisp, Nelson Mandella, Kenny Everet, Keith Floyd(to cook), Jo Brand, Jamie Oliver (to cook afters),Sam Cooke (to sing)

Q67: Which animal best describes your personality?
A: a cat..lazy

Q68: 'Centre of attention' or 'on the sidelines'
A: sidelines

Q69: Ideal partner: Blonde, Brunette or Redhead
A: whatever

Q70: Claim to fame
none
A:

Q71: Bank or spend?
A: bank a lot then spend a lot

Q72: Mend or throw away?
A: throw

Q73: Hot climate, cold climate?
A: cold (but not too cold)

Q74: What would the epitaph on your gravestone read?
A: floating on the internet somewhere

Q75: Are you left or right handed?
A: right

Q76: On what side of the bed do you sleep?
A: on my left

Q76: Cinema or sofa?
A: computer chair (getting lazy)

Q77: PJ's, shorts or nothing?

A: pjs

Q78: A day at the Mall or a day by the river?
A: river

Q79: Have you ever lied?
lots, but sometimes it's necessary

Q80: Purpose in life?
A: for whats left of it, to live peacefully and in good health, mainly keeping my "marbles"

Q81: Favourite Drink?
A: wine

Q82: What would your ideal house look like?
A: a small period cottage by the sea,

Q83: What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
A: def the eyes, mirrors of the soul

Q84: Are you comfortable with your height?
A: spose

Q85: Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
A: a lot of the time lately lol

Q86: Any regrets about anything?
A: getting married to the wrong bloke :>(
but then on the other hand not... cause I wouldn't have his children?

Q87: Is there someone or something you really want?
A: a house in Cornwall with a garden

Q88: Does anybody like you?
A: I hope so

Q89: Do you believe in God?
A: no

Q90: Have you ever kayaked?
A: no

Q91: Fireworks..love'em or hate'em?
A: love em but only in a display, have never bought them to light my self

Q92: When was the last time you were hugged?
A: couple of hours ago, my granddaughter loves me :>))

Q93: Do you speak any other language other than English?
A: I can understand a little bit of Dutch

Q94: Are you allergic to anything?
A: no

Q95: Favourite Saying?
A: do as you would be done by

Q96: Are you close to your family?
A: I like to think so, although I annoy all my closest ones

Q97: When was the last time you went swimming?
A: last year?

Q98: Can you curl your tongue?
A: yes

Q99: Were you ever rushed by ambulance into an Emergency room?
A: no

Q100: Is there a question that you would like visitors to your blog to answer?

A: all of them

A proper English Gentleman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500.
So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note:-

Dear Madam,
Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am
not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:
1) it had never been occupied;
2) that there was plenty of heat;
3) that is was small enough to make me cozy and at home.
Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250.00 with the following note:

Dear Sir:
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the landlady.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.